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Kinder, Gentler Savage Changes Name to Shrek |
  Hanover, NH: It’s official! The president of the
class of 2007 has changed his name from Savage to Shrek.
In his own words: “I think ‘Shrek’ better reflects my
personality, and is more consistent with my beliefs and
ideas. People were a little freaked out by 'Savage'.”
The first year student prefers to be called only one
name, which prompted Professor Paul Argenti last fall to
compare our fearless leader to “Madonna.” Profit editors
note that Argenti’s twisted fascination with Madonna
(especially her hit single “Like a Prayer”) strongly
influenced his choice of that particular comparison. He
just as easily could have compared Savage with Prince,
Sinbad, Tupac, Beck, Geraldo, Pele, Beyonce, Eminem,
Bjork, Bono, Dido, Fabio or Howard.
To Shrek’s Yiddish friends, the choice may not be so
effective: “Shrek” means fear or terror in Yiddish. The
kinder, gentler Shrek commented rhetorically, “Do I care
what a bunch of Hasidic Jews think about me?”
The Hanover town clerk was immediately inundated by over
350 name change requests from women seeking to change
their names to
Princess Fiona. The line extended around
the block. Not surprisingly, 2nd year class president Tommy Cho’s request to change his name to
Donkey was
immediately granted.
Dean Danos weighed in on the name change: “The Tuck School of Business was
rated #1 in the Wall Street Journal. We’re #1! We’re
#1!” |
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