|
What he
said... |
What he
thought... |
"I am
pleased to announce that Tuck placed
number two in this year's Wall Street
Journal/Harris Interactive National
ranking of business schools."
|
{Let's face it,
the Journal screwed us this
year.} |
"Recruiters
named Tuck among the top three schools
in General Management, Strategy and
Corporate Social Responsibility, and
among the top ten in Marketing,
Operations Management and
Entrepreneurship."
|
{This
means #3, #3, #3, #10, #10, #10…just to
be clear.} |
|
"Tuck
was also favorably ranked in terms of offering practical business experience as
part of the program and generating graduates that are CEO material." |
{Clearly they
didn’t take opinions from Bristol-Myers
Squibb.} |
The top ten
schools in the Journal's ranking
include:
|
|
|
1 |
University
of Michigan
(Ross) |
{Honestly, had you even heard of them before this thing was
printed?} |
|
2 |
Dartmouth
College
(Tuck) |
{Better recognize bee-yotch!} |
|
3 |
Carnegie
Mellon University
(Tepper) |
{Like any real Tuckie, I hate quant, and so must hate these guys
for inventing it. NERDS!!!!!} |
|
4 |
Columbia
University |
{For those who weren’t getting enough crime and poverty in
Philly} |
|
5 |
University
of California, Berkeley
(Haas) |
{Rhymes with ass for a reason…I mean the place is ripe…not a
whole lot of showering going on}
|
|
6 |
Northwestern University
(Kellogg) |
{Maybe the only legit ranking on here...maybe} |
|
7 |
University
of Pennsylvania
(Wharton) |
{see #4} |
|
8 |
North
Carolina, Chapel Hill
(Kenan-Flagler) |
{They actually feed a great management need for all the Waffle
Houses down there…quite the niche.}
|
|
9 |
Yale
University |
{This is where Harvard was originally – we blew a lot of money
to keep them excluded and suggested a non-threatening
replacement. Great pick, right? I mean, Yale? Do they even
have a business school? I don’t know either.} |
|
10 |
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
(Sloan) |
{Not even we have enough slush money to keep every school in
Cambridge off this thing}
|
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