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Leadership Out of the Box
to Wrap Up Winter Term with Mass Suicide
Cultish 2nd Year elective
will sacrifice 10% of class in pursuit of ultimate
self-knowledge
Hanover,
NH: With another winter term almost completed, seven
more “outside of the box” students are preparing for the
ultimate final exam: mass suicide.
Professor Bell will administer the
“special" grape Kool-Aid during the final class
session, thereby sending her intrepid pupils on the
ultimate journey of self discovery. Said one member of
the class, “At first I took this course because I didn’t
believe that leadership could be taught, but the Prof is
certainly proving me wrong. I mean, if I do well,
I will kill myself in a couple weeks! She has us all
very excited.”
A Class
That Pushes the Envelope
A
member of the Profit’s crack investigative team covertly
infiltrated three Leadership Out of the Box sessions;
what he witnessed was a class that truly pushes the academic
envelope. Below are the session topics and his
description of what transpired:
- The Hero's Journey: What it teaches us about
leadership: “We watched the Lion King. The Disney classic thoroughly
prepared those students aspiring to land jobs as a
cartoon lion cub with the vital tips they will need
to survive genocide at the hands of a brutal African
dictator.
- To Be A Kid Again: “Disney again provided
valuable insights as students learned how to physically morph into 10 year old
versions of themselves by watching the Bruce Willis classic The Kid. During the
viewing, students were encouraged to eat glue and punch the arms of members of the opposite
sex whom they found physically attractive.”
- Vision Quest:
“A Peyote-induced psychedelic introspection. I
had a pretty good trip, but Pfeister cried and
Hannan thought Bell was trying to steal his soul.”
Friends and Colleagues React
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In fairness, it’s
right there in the syllabus
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While Tuck students and
faculty have expressed some reservations about the
extreme nature of the Professor's methods, the J-Board has
finally ruled on this issue. Since ritualistic suicide
is, in fact, listed as a requirement in the course
syllabus, the academic honor principle holds. As one
school administrator put it, “Look, Leadership Out of
the Box is an elective, so students are reading the
syllabus and choosing to do these things of their own
free will. Besides, if we were to let them shirk their
responsibility in this class, it’d be like giving them a
license to cheat – and what kind of a message would that
send? It could lead to an entire breakdown in the Tuck
Honor Code. They’re just going to have to take their
Kool-Aid like adults.”
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