Buch Custodians Exposed As Early Morning Pong Players

Hanover, NH: Tuck was rocked to its foundations today, as it emerged that the Buchanan custodial staff had been playing early morning pong and blaming the mess on the first years.

Lawyer and amateur sleuth Jonathan Fuisz T'08 uncovered the scam one morning as he made his daily stagger home from the frats. 'The custodians are basically bitching to Mitson 24:7 about us in an attempt to justify their ludicrous wages and benefits, while actually creating the mess they are bitching about. It's the job of the students to devastate the Buch lounge, not these jokers.', said Fuisz, sauntering to class clutching a 30 pack.

Yet some members of the faculty actually applauded the actions of the custodians. Professor Constance Helfat told us 'This is a textbook example of both creating and capturing value. The custodians deserve a raise'.

The inhabitants of Buchanan were less positive. Bill Hughes T'08 said 'It all makes sense now. The custodians must have been playing last Thursday morning, then broke into my room before I woke up and booted all over my floor.'

When asked about the scam, a custodian told us we had 'better stop pryin', or there'll be a Whit-style surprise in your trashcan'.