Dear Advisors,

I’ve got a wicked case of senioritis – I’ve had a job locked up for months. How can I stay focused?

 -Second-Year Slump

SJ: How’s your mother doing? I remember she was having surgery last week. Oh, and you’re dating that girl from the med school, right? How is that going? And that mole on your left buttock? Has that changed shape at all? You should really get that looked at. Here, let me write down the name of my friend over at Dick’s House – just tell her Sally sent you. Say, by the way, are Paul Schned and Emily Ratcliff still together?

Dear Advisors,

I’m feeling really stressed lately. I can’t sleep, and I think it’s starting to affect my schoolwork. What should I do?

-Sleepless in Buchanan

BH: You have to look at this from an economic perspective. What is your WTP? How much sleep are you willing to give up for H’s? It’s all about tradeoffs. Look for where the demand for your time intersects with the supply of your energy. BOOM! That’s your maximum efficiency point.

Dear Advisors,

I’m going insane. There is nowhere in Hanover to get a good haircut, shop, or get my eyebrows waxed. The only tailor in town takes 3 weeks to hem a pair of jeans! Every time I go to a city for an interview, everyone looks so glam, and I’m a fleece-clad, unibrowed mess. How can I feel like a girl again?

-Backwoods Barbie