Tropical Hanover Braces For Nor'easter
Employees Wonder If They Are Essential
Gore Unavailable For Comment

Hanover, NH: Preparations for inclement weather have begun in earnest, all across the Upper Valley.  Emergency crews are being called in and procurers are scrambling to find salt and dirt.  The mayor's office released a statement asking the town for patience as it attempts to deal with this unprecedented storm.  "In Syracuse, a nor'easter of this magnitude is fairly routine.  But here in Hanover we need to be realistic about our ability to cope with the devastation."

Last night, Dartmouth College President Wright sent a 4-page email to the entire community outlining the college's rarely-used policy on snow.  This morning, he closed the college, forcing employees to face the critical question: "am I an essential employee?"

Socially awkward Thayer students and Brian Fairweather T'07 were secretly grateful to the storm for providing an acceptable topic of conversation.  "It's really coming down, isn't it?" said Fairweather.