Y2Day Glitch Causes Early Spring
Almighty God: "Congress Tricked Me Again!"

Puffy Cloud In The Sky: The sun is shining in Hanover, the birds are chirping, and the temperature could rise above 60 degrees today.  Contrary to Al Gore's belief, the cause of this unseasonably warm weather is not global warming.  It is also not the Indians' fault.  It is Almighty God's fault.

The Tuck Profit spoke with Almighty God.  After being informed of the change in daylight savings time, He boomed: "GOD DAMN THAT CONGRESS!!  I've been fine-tuning this model for the past 100 years!  They have NO IDEA how sensitive it is to a change in DST!  For Christ's sake, look at this tornado chart!  DST is the most critical variable!"

Almighty God continued to vent his frustrations with Congress.  "They're focused on all the wrong things!  Congress should be concerned with preserving the sanctity of marriage and preventing 4-letter words from being uttered on national television.  Jesus!" 

In related news, birds' migratory patterns are in disarray.  Said one, "Do you know how long it took me to set this Rolex?  Look at my claws--do you see any opposable thumbs?"