Herbert Boards Ark, Flips Off Evil World

Lebanon, NH: Almighty God plans to start a new world, populated entirely by Chris Herbert's offspring.  "The corruption, depravity and sodomy are just too much to overcome through prayer...I shall start over with a perfect specimen," said God. 

The deluge started with an April Nor'easter that dropped over 8 inches of rain on the east coast.  But no one suspected that the rain would continue for 40 days and 40 nights, and signal the end of humanity as we know it.

God released the following statement: "My people have abandoned me.  They eat hooved animals and worship false idols.  They bear false witness against their neighbors.  They will die." 

Sources close to Herbert confirm that he is still looking for 2 sheep, 2 monkeys, and a female polar bear.